Paris. Eh.

I lied. I said I wasn’t going to go into detail about any of my recent trips, but I couldn’t go on much longer without venting about Paris. I am sure you are thinking, “Paris? Really? Why Paris? I thought it was supposed to be the most beautiful, romantic place in the world?” Well, I hate to break it to you, but it isn’t.  I just got back to Germany from the so-called city of love and I have to admit, I didn’t love it. Yes, the Eiffel Tower is amazing, but after looking at it for an hour or so, you pretty much get the gist of it. I don’t know why everyone always raves so much about Paris. I guess they haven’t been there. The entire city is one big tourist trap. Wanna know why?

The People – The rumors are true. The Parisians are just about as rude as can be. They are always in a hurry, in your personal space, completely unwilling to help, and apparently physically unable to smile. If you want any service at a restaurant, you may want to pack a blow horn or fire up a flare, otherwise you will not be able to get anyone’s attention.  Example: Our hotel receptionist refused to call us a cab so we could catch our train to the airport. He claimed there was a taxi stand “just down the street.” There wasn’t. We missed our train, which in turn, led to us missing our flight. Brilliant customer service, sir.

Tourists – Yes, just by visiting you are only compounding the problem. If you have travelled much at all, you realize that Asians love them some travelling. It is not their fault, Asian countries get more vacation time than just about any other place in the world. If it weren’t for the tall triangular, iron pyramid soaring above you, you would think you were in South Korea. Combine that with the thousands of Americans in jean shorts and fanny packs wandering around aimlessly, and it impossible to get the “Paris Experience.”

Dirty/Unsafe – Not only is the city not gorgeous, breathtaking, or beautiful, I actually found it to be polluted and unsafe. If you enjoy getting pick-pocketed, scammed, or if you are a girl, felt up, then congrats! - Paris is the city for you. You cannot walk 50 feet without someone trying to give you a “complimentary” rose (which they request a 5 Euro donation for after your girlfriend takes it) or another dude badgering you to buy their cheap souvenirs off the street.

"The trains arent running? Lets start shit on fire."

Strikes - The only thing the French love more than smoking cigarettes is going on strike. Just a week before our trip to Paris, Air France went on strike, resulting in cancelled flights and delays. Strikes and public protest are an important part of the Parisian way of life.  Historically, it is the most strike-happy country in Europe, losing on average 132 days per 1,000 workers due to strikes between 2005 and 2009. The strike du-jour during our trip was that of the SNCF, the French Railway. Because of this, we got stuck in Normandy, resulting in missing our trip to Versailles and visiting the Louvre. Not only that, but the next day the strike caused us to miss our flight back to Germany because the amount of trains running to the airport was depleted.

My advice: Don’t spend more than two days in Paris, then head out to the countryside. Normandy is beautiful and you FEEL like you are in France, unlike the feeling you get in Paris.

Au revoir, bitches.